| Stories I Shouldn't Know |
[May. 10th, 2008|12:32 pm] |
After, he was unexpectedly tender -- rough fingertips light against her face, a gentlemanly graciousness helping her arise, straighten her clothing.
There was only one question. "Why?"
He knew, knew this didn't fit. Men like him didn't lay down with girls like her: such has always been the way of the world, and in his half century he'd never seen a change in the pattern. Such a thing simply was. The sun rose in the East, the seasons changed in their appointed time, in the fall, the whitetail would run. Snow would come, blow round, and at long last, depart again. Things are.
There is no sense in questioning them.
But he asked just the same.
"He said I was crazy." Eyes wide, blue, wounded.
It was clear that this was the only explanation that would be given, but he found it insufficient.
Despite his wont, well-trained reticence in the face of all he did not understand -- he was not a man who spoke often -- he pressed her further.
"And you're not crazy." A statement, then. Thinking she wanted reassurance.
She smiled and in that moment, he knew he had failed her. He wasn't sure how, but the knowledge of failure was not unfamiliar to him. This was a new manifestation of it, his answer perhaps correct for another question, another questioner, but not this one.
Not this time.
"Oh, no," she replied. "I am quite crazy, actually. Barking dog mad. But he didn't have to tell me what I already knew."
He stood there, not sure what to say, what to do.
Her smile reminded him of his mother, long forgotten. A teacher, frail and pale, who came after his mother's influence had faded, reluctant to write him off, her smile assurance that she knew, somewhere in there, beneath the muck and the mud and the stink of dairy poverty, was a child with a brain and potential.
She'd been wrong, of course, but he still remembered that smile.
And now this girl, this girl with strange eyes and stranger words, had it for him: kindness in the face of incomprehension. It was a blessing and a dismissal, a judgement and a gift all at once.
He hated it.
He would give anything for it.
"I'll see you," she said. "Another time."
"When?"
Even now, a child's question. She was decades younger. Younger than his children. Yet there was this question between them, plainitive, pleading.
"When it's time." The door was shutting now, softly but definitively. "When it's time." |
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| Weekend |
[May. 10th, 2008|09:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
Country music. Check.
Upright and moving. Check.
Wavering wildly between good intentions and bad decisions. Check.
Knowing that at the end of the day, I am the rock this house stands on: Check.
Realization that only in this town, this tiny little town, jammed pack with stories and pain and whirl-a-gig windfarms, would I learn how to say, "Good Lord almighty, how I hate that woman" and smile at the same time: Priceless.
Thought for the day, stolen shamelessly from Jim Jacobus . everything you've ever wanted, ever dreamed for, ever known you needed, wanted, or desired is only one decision away. 'Course, the same's true for everything you never wanted, feared the most, and cried yourself to sleep over.
So choose carefully grasshopper. |
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| A super speedy post |
[May. 9th, 2008|08:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  busy | ] |
As I'm about to run up to Malone and pay the internet bill, fast as a bunny so Tim can have the truck to scrap -- he's been cleaning out old farm equipment, and brother, let me tell you, you can't beat farm equipment for weight.
Guess what I have to do this weekend? PLANT! I've a half-dozen lilac bushes in a bucket in the front yard, and jerusalem artichokes, and johnny jump ups, and now it's time to put in beans and peas and kale and all the stuff that can stand up to the cold.
Decided we're going to plant the tomatoes around the well cap where the glads were, which will mean nothing to anyone who hasn't been to my house, but it's a cool situation.
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) pale_chartreuse has a great You Tube video on her LJ today, featuring Michael Pollan, author of the Omnivore's Dilemna, which I'd urge you all to watch. bunnyjadwiga I think you might like this, although you also probably already know it/have seen it.
I've posted a thank you note to the bank manager who helped me resolve the banking crisis earlier this week, and now I'm thinking I am a big dork. Not that that is news to anyone but me.
Tons and tons and tons of work to do, and guess what? I'm excited about all of it. I am tickled to death by every project I'm working on right now. This, my friends, is a good spot to be in.
Went to the dollar store last night -- and guess what? I found six-- SIX!!!! -- hardcover books I would have bought otherwise, although admittedly not at full price -- and I snapped those babies up. All of them. For six dollars!!!! Yay!! And when I brought it home and Tim said, "Isn't that a little excessive?" I mentioned it was actually the same price as ONE pack of cigarettes, and that ended that conversation. So woo hoo for blatant fiscal irresponsibility used to justify blatant fiscal irresponsibility!
Now I must fly, fly, fly my darlings! Don't do anything I wouldn't do. |
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| Middle of the Day Round Up |
[May. 8th, 2008|12:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | busy | ] |
Progress report: one blogging for dollars entry, one article, one client call. Decided to submit the sequel to Recovery to Turn of the Screw where it will appear in serial form. That means Calvin and Adam will have ten appearances! The story will run under the title Recovery Ranch, and shall start in July.
Yay!
Other progress: Tim is about to head out for an afternoon scrapping, and Nadia pipes up: "Daddy! Don't forget the faucets! They're brass!"
Hee. The lessons we learn.
Successful resolution of a banking issue, hooray and huzzah!
And I remembered to get the trash out on time -- ten points for me.
And that's about it for this morning. |
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| Good Morning! |
[May. 8th, 2008|07:46 am] |
It's rainy here this morning, warm enough, but damp and gray. A good day to be a duck, or a frog, or perhaps a beaver. We've been plagued by woodchucks in these parts: you can't walk five minutes without seeing a little brown lump scurrying across the yard, full speed ahead, clearly intent on completely some vital task ASAP.
What a woodchuck would need to be intent upon, I am not sure.
People seem to like Recovery which is making me very happy indeed. I'm trying to decide what to do here: I can take Adam and Calvin's story forward through (I'm guessing here) roughly 2 more novellas, or I could pitch it to Turn of the Screw and have it appear serialized. Not sure which is the best options -- especially considering I've also got my CO series, which I think I'm going to title Inside, featuring Grant and Rusty, to get going. That I see very much as novel length -- I get writing about those two and before you know it, ten thousand words has gone by in the blink of an eye.
I'm tickled -- I sent featheredfrog his custom story he won in shadesong's raffle, and he said it was strange but good, and that he was pleased with it. Whew!
For today's little odd thought questions, of interest if you're a writer, I'd imagine, ask yourself this: Who owns the rights to suicide notes?
And I found this absolutely fascinating -- I have what may be a rather unhealthy obsession with Nabakov -- how such a perfectionist could write at all astonishes me -- and there's been a big hullaballo about his last, unpublished novel. Should his son release it to the world, or destroy it, as per his Father's wishes? Which of course raises eight million more questions (not to mention reiterates the need for us all to have literary executors who will do what they're told, damn it!)
Add to that my constant squick about the journalist becoming the story. Some people have the Ten Commandments. I have "Thou shalt not interject thineself into the story, nor influence the course of reality by reporting on it" -- sort of Journalism via Gallifrey.
Still, you'll want to read this story about it , although I'll caution you, it is long, slow going. Give yourself some time.
In other news, I think I was probably a better parent yesterday than I've been in a long time. Harmony and I talked a lot, about the fact that she's the one in charge of her destiny, and how her life choices NOW will impact life LATER, and how you should pick friends who are nice to you and how people judge you by the company you keep. It seems like she got it, that she was there with me, and that just talking about a lot of this stuff took half a ton of weight off her shoulders. Amazing what conversation can do.
She is such a talented artist, and apparently she's been comparing her work to that of older people (including me) and feeling very bad that she's 'falling short'. So we talked about the fact that creating art is something you learn to do, that it can be taught, that there are basic skills that make making what you want easier, and apparently the most shocking bit of all: for every good piece of art you make, there are 2,000 that aren't good at all. That doodling is valuable, for practice if nothing else. That the point of art is the joy in it -- and wow, did we get into a messy tangle of "Is it any good if you don't get paid for it?" To which the only answer I had was of course it can be good if you don't get paid for it -- being paid is a separate issue from the issue of creation, and right now, the point is to focus on the creative half of the equation. Ai-yi-yi. The lessons we teach without even trying.
Now, I've a million things to do today. I'm going to be refining the schedule process yet again, so be prepared for some time management blather. Emails to return, blogging for dollars, four articles, one sure to be long client call and then fiction, errand running, and more.
Onward, upward, forward! |
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| Read This Book! A Recommendation and Review! |
[May. 7th, 2008|10:55 am] |
Now, I'm not a lawyer. Nor do I play one on TV.
I am, however, a parent who has two daughters she loves more than life itself.
You know what? Sometimes love is not enough. We can't just hug our kids and play with them and go to the beach and read books and do all that fun stuff we love to do.
We have to work to provide. We have to house, clothe, feed, and protect our children. One sphere where we've got to do this -- and one, quite frankly, that I suck at -- is in the legal arena.
That's why when the opportunity to read a review copy of Wear Clean Underwear: A Fast, Fun, Friendly and Essential Guide to Legal Planning For Busy Parents came up, I jumped at it. This is an area I don't know much about, and I wanted to fill the gaps in my knowledge.
Author Alexis Martin Neely delivered -- and then some. She brought up questions I'd never even thought about: what happens if the people you appoint as your kids guardians die? what happens if the guardian you appoint really doesn't want to be the guardian after all? what happens if you have people fighting over your kids? what happens if your kids are left without much in the way of financial resources when you step off this mortal coil?
Neely gets you thinking, first and foremost, and that's critical. Much of what you will read here is the same advice you'll find in estate planning guides -- but rendered comprehensible, in easy to read language. I understood this book -- I didn't feel stupid or poorly educated, trying to figure out what legal terms meant. Neely asks the questions we're all terrified to ask.
There's a choose your own adventure feel to the book: If you decide to do X, go to page 55 and see what happens. I liked this. The choices presented were straightforward: you're going to do X or Y, here's the consequences of both. Are the choices exhaustive? No, but she hit the most common ones, and I'd bet they'd answer 95% of most readers questions.
Neely also wins big bonus points for being cultural aware. Frankly, a lot of guides like this (and I've read a ton of the financial ones and I ghostwrite for Long Term Care insurance professionals) ignore the fact that we don't all live in heteronormative families. We're not all Mommy, Daddy, and 2.2 kids. Sometimes there's Mommy and Mommy. Sometimes there's just Dad. Sometimes there's Mom and Dad and Stepmom and Stepdad and the girlfriend no one talks about. Neely acknowledges this, respects this, and provides at least a starting point for those of us with non-traditional families -- and the assurance that the legal system can work for us too, if we're smart and proactive about it.
Up here, to talk to a lawyer costs $100/hour, minimum. Neely's book is $17 -- and answers at least some of the questions you'll be paying a lawyer big bucks for. We all need to plan for our children. If you're clueless about this, or know a little but have more questions than knowledge, this book is a great place to get started. If you do nothing else for your kids than read this book and follow the recommendations, you'll have given your kids a greater gift than all the birthday parties in the world.
I strongly recommend it to parents like me, who know they have to do something but don't know what they have to do. I think it works best in conjunction with an attorney: this book will allow you to make efficient use of an attorney's time, which is expensive. |
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| Recovery -- Released Today! |
[May. 7th, 2008|09:16 am] |
Recovery is out today! This is my first title in Torquere's Spurs & Saddles line, devoted to Western romance.
Recovery was a fascinating story to write, as I'm not what you'd call cowboy fluent. I was pondering what I could write that took place with all the longhorns and tumbleweeds and men who say "Ma'am" and aren't being snotty...and Adam up and pushed himself into my mind.
Now, this was a little bit of a problem. Adam's not a cowboy. Not by any stretch of the imagination. He's never been on a horse. He can't tell you the difference between y'all and all y'all.
He just knows he's fresh off the plane from Iraq, his whole life just went pear-shaped and his Father's still being a big jerk.
Or,as a nicely written blurb puts it:
Adam can't wait to get back to civilian life after months of military life in a war zone. Things don't go as he plans, though, when his Army buddy and lover dumps him without so much as goodbye, and his family starts pressuring him to make decisions he's not ready to deal with.
When Adam does tell his dad his plan for the future, his father asks him to wait long enough to help out an old friend who lives in Texas, and sends Adam off to decompress some in the back country. There, Adam finds Calvin, a man who knows what it's like to be lost, and who knows just what Adam needs to find his way again. Can Calvin and Adam clean up Calvin's land, and Adam's life?
***
All of which are good questions. I'm hoping the readership likes this pair, because I'd like to do more stories with them. They've got a lot to work with: there's close on a twenty year age difference between Calvin and Adam. Adam's family has religion in a big way, and they don't know the oldest boy is gay as gay can be. But right now, in this book, it's just getting a handle on where they are and what could be. Love's different, you know, when you're forty and when you're twenty -- finding a starting point can be tricky.
But I think they do all right.
Kiernan Kelly, in a lovely, lovely review, ( seems to agree! )
And here's a little sniblet for your reading pleasure: ( Sniblet should be SFW! )
You can buy Recovery (only $3.95!) here! |
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| Wednseday Morning |
[May. 7th, 2008|07:57 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | busy | ] |
Good morning everybody!
This will be a fly by posting, as I've much to do today -- New Book Out!!! -- but first and foremost I wanted to say Thank You to everyone who sent good wishes and condolances on the death of my MIL's mother. It is much appreciated, both by me and by Tim, who is more than a little boggled by the outpouring of good wishes.
In today's news, Recovery is out today! There will be a proper post forthwith, but here's a lovely sniblet of review from the wonderful Kiernan Kelly:
( Read this and smile! )
Ok, folks, onwards, upwards, forwards. I'm going to be posty mcpostalot today, apologies in advance. I promise to be calmer...maybe tomorrow, maybe the second Tuesday in February '14. |
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| Passage of a Hero |
[May. 6th, 2008|08:49 am] |
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Mildred Loving died. It seems like ancient history -- but it isn't. |
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| Tuesday Morning |
[May. 6th, 2008|07:47 am] |
The birds are full throttle this morning, balancing out Frank Luntz on Fox News. Luntz's Words that Work is a masterpiece, quite frankly, particularly if you like to think about what words are and why they work and what you need to do to sell your story to the masses. If he came in a Democratic version, I'd be his biggest fan.
It's hard to have to admire someone when they use their brilliance to push an agenda you oppose. Still, if you can stomach the rhetoric, or look past it, the book is well worth exploring.
The scanner just went off, a restaurant in Plattsburgh is full of gas, since the burner was left on overnight. Perhaps the trend toward non-smoking workplaces is a very good thing indeed :-)
It's a rough morning here, post pre-teen drama. In the great log book of parenting, this isn't even going to register as a blip: I'm sure bigger, noisier problems lie just over the horizon. But fighting with your kid is really no fun.
Read a little more Joyce yesterday, and I'm about 40% through the book, and I find myself constantly asking: Who does this writing remind me of? This POV is so very, very familiar and I can't place where I've seen it before. And I'm racking my brains in the wee hours of the morning, (as much to avoid thinking about parenting as anything else) and it hits me: mroctober writes like James Joyce. So if you like Joyce, you should check out Steve's work, particularly Vintage I'll try to get Steve to give me more appropriate contact/buying info forthwith, but that's the Amazon link so you can take a look at it. ETA: Link corrected to point you to the right version of the book! Go buy TWO!
A lot of book pimping today -- it must be Cindy dictates we all must buy books day! Which is good, as my Spurs and Saddles title, Recovery, comes out today: I'll post about that with links and such once it goes live on the Torquere Press website
Besides new book squee, today's agenda includes only one phone call, thank the gods, and lots of ghosting. I've also got to put the finishing touches on Old School D&D which I'm writing for the Gamers Taste Test, finish up the story for shadesong's raffle, and pick my chin up.
It seems like there's a lot of depression going around, and I have long thought this to be a seasonal thing: North Country springs are treacherous things, taunting and teasing with sniblets of flowers and acid green foliage, only to slap you right back down into the snowy mud half a week later. It's the rapid cycle of hope and disappointment that gets you. Meanwhile, meanwhile. Meanwhile, dear local reader, I shall be prudent and keep silent. For all things there is a season, and that season's not today.
One would imagine that if one didn't want the flower to grow, one would not keep putting fertilizer upon it. However, flowers come for several reasons, not the least of which is to be plucked, thrust into an awkward lace and cardboard strewn arrangement to be tactfully admired by those who know it is hideous, and then thrust, once dried and dessicated beyond even the faintest memory of beauty, into a drawer where it is forgotten for generations until some enterprising child digs it out and constructs this grand romance out of what was once a pitiable gesture. And for that grand romance, perhaps, the flower grows.
I just know I've got the glue gun ready.
Issues? Baby, I've got subscriptions. Onward, upward, forward. Drama llamas make great burger, but don't necessarily pay the bills. *grin* |
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| Darn It, goldsquare ! |
[May. 5th, 2008|11:37 am] |
I now am possessed of a deep, abiding need to write "Man, Eating Tiger"
This isn't your first entry in the story vector file, but it is definitely one of the best. |
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| Cinco de Mayo |
[May. 5th, 2008|07:37 am] |
Monday morning, bright and early! The sun is shining, warm weather on the horizon, and I've a to-do list that is challenging to say the least -- but nothing in it to make my heart go "Oh, no..."
Here's a lovely bunch of randomness, just to get the morning started ( For thoughts on Blogging, holidays, school menus, polygamy, and James Joyce. )
Ok, onward, upward, forward. Today's plans include multiple client calls, drafting two articles, writing a mini article, some edits, some fiction, some follow up emails. Tim's got fire department tonight, so I think I'm going to take the kids out walking if it is not raining. All those miles I walked last year, not to find what I'm looking for -- perhaps the road will be kinder this season. |
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| Rise and Shine |
[May. 4th, 2008|06:54 am] |
Halfway through the weekend. Plans accomplished? That would be none, to date, but I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure I'm okay with the herds and herds of plot bunnies that have been playing games with my head, but one cannot have everything.
Yesterday, Lady Marguerite came by, a surprise visit in the morning. We gabbed, as is our want, and I divested of some fabric -- Lady Marguerite also participates in the battle of Plattsburgh re-enactment, and some of the striped & checky sheets that I was given would do very well indeed for shirts for her hubby. He is quite disabled, and they need to be able to swap out garb frequently, which makes an expensive recreation even more costly.
We talked a lot about summer plans. Money situation being what it is, our summer is going to be relatively close to home and sedate: one big trip to my Mom's, for the family reunion, will be it for road trippage. Other than that, it's going to be the beach, fishing, gardening. I'm ready for the beach, now, frankly: it's just the beach is not ready for me.
She also brought lots of jerusalem artichokes, some to eat and some to plant: These are yummy and hardy and like swampy ground. One more step into the transition the front yard into a larder concept.
I need to do a run this morning for Matchbox cars -- I doubt they sell them at the corner store, but I'll check there first just in case so I don't have to schlep all over God's green earth. Birthday party this afternoon, and I think that's going to be quite something, and then it's going to be a day.
I hear Tim starting the fire. It is a little drizzly and damp outside: the girls are still abed, despite the late hour. It'd be nice to have a slow, sleepy Sunday -- now that I've said that, I've virtually guaranteed it would be anything but! |
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| Drums along the Mohawk |
[May. 2nd, 2008|11:41 am] |
Or the pounding of my head? No way to know for sure.
Anyway, I'm about to reshift gears from one client to the next, and they've radically different voices, so I'll post ( Lovely random bits to clear my head! ) |
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| Good Morning My Freaky Darlings |
[May. 2nd, 2008|08:21 am] |
It is finally Friday! Yay! Friday!
First and foremost, let us shout out a huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY to gertiek, one of the very best sisters a girl could hope for. May your day be full of happiness!
Second, go buy Vincent Diamond's new book! . Rough Cut is out today and well worth checking out.
Third, hmm. Busy day ahead: I've got edits to do on Recovery, yay! And then one client call and a solid six hours of client bookage, another client call, and then it is the weekend.
This should be a fun weekend: Harmony has a b-day party we're all attending on Sunday, and I think it'll be nice enough to do yard work outside. So let's get started: onward, upward, forward! |
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| Diamond Day! |
[May. 2nd, 2008|07:55 am] |
Today, May 2, 2008, is Diamond Day here at Chez CB! Diamond Day is the first ever celebration of the release of my good friend Vincent Diamond's first collection, Rough Cut! Rough Cut is being released by Lethe Press , one of the very best places to find gay literature.
The reasons you should read Vincent's work are simple: phenomenal story telling skills, a great use of language, characters who linger in your mind long after you lay the book down, and passionate scenes that just about set the book on fire. This book is the work of a consummately skilled professional, giving it 110%!
I've worked with Vincent before -- on Play Ball, in a few other projects -- and I wanted to ask a few questions about Rough Cut
You’ve been editing for various publishers over the past few years. What made this project different?
Because it was all about me me me. No carefully couched comments to the author about “you might want to re-think this purple-tutu-wearing demon in this scene. I just don’t feel it’s very threatening.” I could just slash and hack as I needed to, whatever it took to make the stories better.
Boxers or briefs?
Definitely briefs. Heh heh heh. How did I know you were going to ask that question?
I had to -- otherwise, they kick you out of the pseudo-journalists union! What was the most fun in doing your own book?
Oh, definitely picking out the cover image. Oh, yeah. Had to browse through *hundreds* of photos of hunky, near-naked, good-looking guys to find Just the Right One. Good grief. What a chore. :0
Animals are obviously very important to you: you edited the Animal Attraction anthology for Torquere Press, and many of the stories in Rough Cut include animals. Horses in particular -- which is where this question comes from: What on earth does “picking up the correct diagonal” mean? Is this some sort of geometry interface that I don’t know about?
Grins. Nah, not math, horseback riding, English style. Picking up the correct diagonal means posting correctly at the trot. In theory, (note I said ‘in theory’ as the actuality of this happening when I’m in the ring is iffy), this means rising up on the post when the horse’s outside shoulder moves up and forward.
It must be a left-brain/right-brain thing because going counter-clockwise, I’m totally fine. I can feel the horse’s rear give me the push up in just the right way, I’m up, I’m down; I get it. Clockwise, though? Oh dear, it’s quite awkward. I just do not feel it. My trainer patiently says to me, “now, sit one step”, “now, sit one step”, and I can’t sit just one step, I sit three, and then I bounce horribly, and she says, “now, sit one step,” and we go through it all over again. Honestly, I admire her patience.
I have been able to get it right 75% of the time when doing Figure 8s, so I’m getting better. But I’m still pretty terrible at it.
Well, picking up the diagonal may be troublesome, but Diamond has had absolutely no difficulty in putting together a stellar collection of fantastic work. You can buy Rough Cut here and I would absolutely urge you to do so! |
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| Wow, where did the day go? |
[May. 1st, 2008|12:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | busy | ] |
I have been a busy little chicken: client billing, client call, revised an article, took the trash out, did 2 loads of wash, made Nadia some lunch...I've got this webinar thing at 2, so I've got to plow through some other stuff here pretty quickly.
But in happy, if old, news (which I guess should be called olds), I discovered that my public radio station is broadcasting a secondary stream over the web, which gives me a lot more cool shows to listen to!
And the tulips are thinking about blooming.
And also, if any of you know where I put the nail clippers, I would really appreciate that information.
Onward, upward, forward! |
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